Disclaimer: I completely respect my species. Yes I know girl, how difficult it is to carve your niche in this male dominated society. Hats off to all those multi-tasking women who have succesfully managed it. I really respect the home-makers too (the ones who indeed contribute towards the making of their homes) and I admire their juggling, and the way they do it without a word of appreciation from their loved ones. It's expected you see, their juggling. So why appreciate.
But this post is not about you. It's about those women who are out there in large numbers and really need to wake up from their deep slumber.
Why are women so shit-headed? I didnt mean to make such a sweeping, generalized, in-ur-face statement, but I am so bloody pissed off with the mentality of certain women. So what is this "women-empowerment" and this oh-so-glorified ideology of feminism?They say a woman should ideally be given the freedom to work or sit at home. Is this an ideal situation really? Sitting at home, packing the kids off to school and later to numerous tuitions, and lazying away in front of the tv? Most of the "home-makers" I know do just that. And oh ofcourse, they go on their shopping sprees with their maids trolleying behing 'em carrying truckloads of shopping bags for them. Oh and shopping means spending your husband's hard earned money. Ask him for the money and after a lot pf pestering and cribbing he gives in. What a beautiful picture.
What really pissed me off today was a cousin's attitude. She's done her engineering from a not-so-good school. She works right now with a well known software firm and earns a decent amount. Decent enough to maintain a decen standard of living. Time has come for her to get married. Dont ask me what do u mean by "time has come" coz I dont get that either, and I wont go into all of that coz my post's not about that shit. So basically her parents are looking for a suitable bride-groom for her. Now comes the, I would say funny part. Following are her criteria: (please note that not a word below is exaggerated)
1. Good looking (full points for this one, what else would u go for in an arranged match?)
2. Its a MUST that he has done his MBA/M.S. from a reputed college (wont a good educated fella, with his head firm on his shoulders do? Or is it that since YOU couldnt get an admission to a decent b school, you wanna learn stuff from him?)
3. He earns AT LEAST 80,000 rs. per month (WTF!! oh why dontcha marry an ATM machine instead?)
4. Must have attended a convent school- basically should have good english speaking capabilities. (LOL..u wanna have English Speaking classes every sunday for your friends?)
Above are the basic criteria that she says she just wouldnt compromise on. I am like...get a life, girl! Dont u have any sense of independence? You wanna dream of sitting in a mercedes, and sending your children to IVY league schools but you dont have the courage to be ready to earn that kinda money? Am not saying that you could as well marry a good natured pauper, no! But you couldn't get your ass admitted to a decent b-school why do you expect your better half to have done that? I mean my equation is simple. If you dream big you should have the courage to pursue your dreams. Don't use "femnisim" as a shield to say thigns like a woman has every right to do what she wishes to. If sitting at home, giving orders to the numerous maids working for you is your idea of a perfect life am sorry.
And hey, my cousin is just a drop in the ocean of such women. Most friends I know have this criteria for their guy- big bucks. Gimme a breakkk!
The timing of this post couldn't have been worse. It's womens' day tomorrow and I have already invited the wrath of so many women.
Happy womens' day girlies.
40 comments:
women really do take undue advantage of their feminism...n i think its primarily women who are drowning themselves down with actions of d kind dat u mentioned!
great post...takes a girl with a sorted mind to write dat!
happy women's day!
No offence, but your cousin sure is weird!!
Am glad you, I, and loads of women out there are above such crap though:-) Happy Women's Day to you too...
he he... good one... on one hand wemen talk abt equality and what not and on the other, they just want to be an appendage to their husbands...
The icing on the cake is that category of women who swing both ways... when it suits them, they are the torch bearer for woman's lib & equality for women. & the very next second when they have to stand in a queue for a ticket, they start talking about the way we men make them suffer by not letting them get ahead of us by allowing them to form a separate queue. In this world I feel that both form of the human species degrade their own form. No one else has the power to do it.
I feel totally guilty because I read this after my golddigger post~
Happy women's day!
Dear Elusive,
Great post!
Yes, men and women has to change...there is lot to change dear..I know so many women and men approach marriage like a shopping...shop a good looking, well educated, so so the list go on..
your cousin is not the only one..
one of my uncle did the same too...looking after 3 years he find someone... I don't have to say she was just opposite of everything in his list :)
♥ & ((hugs))
bindi
And they say it's a male dominated society! :D
I'd written something about a similar, yet different issue that I faced some time back:
http://ankur-arora.blogspot.com/2007/04/and-they-say-its-male-dominated-society.html
I remember having a conversation regarding what you wrote here with a few female friends, and received mixed opinions about the same; though I knew which ones would support what argument.
I also talked about the concept of "house husbands" with them and surprisingly, a few found it blasphemous! Is it so hard to understand that it's not easy to earn a decent living in this country, be it a man or a woman? A guy who can't earn well, for whatever reasons, is useless, but a girl, who earns the same or even lesser, will still be a respectable person, just because the society is oh-so-generous with her! WTF! (excuse me for the profanity)
An hour back I commented here, and now there's a similar discussion on "We The People" on NDTV! :D
so tell me mam what do u do. if you can write such stuff you must be one hard working woman working your ass of day and night. i would love to know what do you do then may be i can form an opinion about this post
Do women seek preferential treatment in the name of gender?
That's what's being talked of in the current segment!
hey i did ur tag!
@gunj ~ yea I guess only women can help themselves.
crasiezt ~ yea babes she sure is one weirdo. But there are many out there wit similar idiosyncrasies.
rajat ~ completely agree wit u on this one. I like men who respect women and who show borderline chivalry. Too much of chivalry is non-sensical..
bindhiya ~ heheh
ankur ~ I've had numerous such arguments with my friends and it can go on and on. I missed the ndtv thing yaar, I've been travelling a lot so no tv for me. It sure musta been one interesting debate.
It was only a few days ago that I was travelling by bus and it was really crowded with no place to sit. There were two guys sitting on the seat specially reserved for women. A woman standing next to me ordered one of the guys to vacate the seat, and occupied it. I hated the entire scenario, but on further pondering I was like the woman might be pregnant. She might be havin her chums. Anything was possible. So I let the thought pass. So it's a tricky thing this seat reservation thing. But I urge all women not to resort to taking undue advantage of such reservations.
I mean jus coz u r a woman dont ask an old man to vacate a seat meant for women!
anonymous ~ well u can comment on the post, what I do is immaterial.
eliana ~ yeah read ur post..we all dream of having extravagant lifestyles at some point or the other..so dont be so guilty :)
I think that there is a very big difference amongst the group of so called homemakers. I know of some women who are truly on their toes all day because they refuse to have maids at home, or cooks to cook for them. And then there are some who have nannies and maids and drivers and spend precious time in salons and malls..and of course, homemakers in India look very different from the homemakers abroad.
solitaire ~ yeah, that's true..out here in india you get real cheap labour and tat explains the pack of maids that get employed..which could be a boon if you are working but otherwise it does nothing but turns u into a lazy fat-assed couch potato.
Ah... and mom has been wondering why all the contacts she has tried to make on the websites are getting rejected right left center :D
My profile does not say I am an MBA ( does not matter, how many of them I can beat the shit out of any day)
My photographs ( the ones that I like) don't really give that good looking feel ;)
Phew... that amount of money... I know a few guys who do earn that kinda money... I am on my way :) it will take some time though, and by that time I would have passed the "time to get married" ;)
Convent school.. hmm...I am from very normal schools and colleges...
Looks like arranged marriage is a no no too :D
u hv some very imp points here. Some women take Women's Empowerment all wrong..they think it's a chance to boast abt their degrees and salaries. Thats not it really..its lowly to do that.
** Its a MUST that he has done his MBA/M.S
LOL is she planning to become a wife or an Employer?
Keshi.
It takes lots of guts to write like that... Excellent read....
Prashant ~ yup, matrimonial profiles are all about exaggerating, 5'8" becomes 5'10". So if you want it "arranged" go beautify your profile ;)
keshi ~ I know!! Thanks for visiting my page :)
Samby ~ yea i got my guts strong, I eat a lotta leafy vegetables u c ;)
:( can't start something with a lie !!!
let it be i guess !!! :)
yeah, a lie, that's true..maybe u cud jus put up the pictures u click and let 'em know of the places u travel to..lambi line lag jaayegi :)
hehe... suppa duppa idea... par showing off is again something that i do in a closed circuit ;)
Come check out the wrath of other men in my recent post..
http://gujjuben.blogspot.com
prashant ~ all the bherry besht to u 2 :)
Solitaire ~ Jus did tat :)
having said that, ur not gonna like me after reading my current post. LOL!
Keshi.
larki ho ya larka
ki fark penda hai???
wow neat post
i reely laughed
espicially i lhuvved the commenst in brackets!!
Keshi ~ shud read ur post soon :D
friendlyguy ~ u have a bong plus punju accent..thats weird :p
abhishek ~ heheh
Now come check out Hum Tum V. :)
I had a roommate who had a similar list.
1) Must be fair, tall, not-so-fat, not-so-thin, no mustache.
2) Should be working in California and earn at least $100K. Preferably engineer, MBA or doctor.
3) Should have at least one US degree.
4) Should be of particular caste and state.
5) Shouldn't smoke or drink.
and few more.
She is not sitting at home but is nothing great either (look or talent-wise). They have been trying matchmaking for some 5-6 years now but not surprisingly, she is still single.
solitaire ~ did tat, waz fun :D
p ~ Yea, it's no surprising nowadays..some women amuse me to no end.
"women really do take undue advantage of their feminism"
"on one hand wemen talk abt equality and what not and on the other, they just want to be an appendage to their husbands..."
"when it suits them, they are the torch bearer for woman's lib & equality for women. & the very next second when they have to stand in a queue for a ticket, they start talking about the way we men make them suffer by not letting them get ahead of us by allowing them to form a separate queue."
thank god at least a few women realise all this!!
good discussion raised by elusive..
@ankur: you asked do women take advantage often?..
i think yes....but da problem is far wider than we can see....this attitude travels from da Mother not only to daughters but also to sons (who becum someone's husbands later)...
so other day we have this guy from coaching class wid whom i shared rick who refused to 'take money from gals'..wtf!(cant get more humiliating)
i agreed( for da sake of rickwala)...but i am looking for an opprtunity to unaccept fare from him..saying "i dont take money from guys who dont take money from gals"...just pray that day comes soon!
siddharth ~ yeah man, it's not tat bad a world after all :p
abha ~ tell me about it!! that;s sucha turn off! i knw of a guy who COMPLETELY refuses to get gifts frm his gurl..even after her havin started to earn!i hope ur revenge day comes soon :p
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