Every dog has his day

It'e been real long since I wrote something. I was busy with all my entrance exams and stuff so finally I get back to some introspection, and bitching. That's what I maintain this blog for.

I have had too much going on in my life in the past few weeks, studying, socialising, working, sleepless nights, reading onepicaday (an awesome blog u oughta read!), and too mucha thinking. I really envy my best friend, let's call her sushi. We were having one of our usual lazying around-bitching sessions, and I started to read a newspaper, while she started staring at the ceiling. Me : Hey what's ya thinking? Sushi : Nothing at all, am blank.
Woa! I mean I wish I had a button in my brains which I could just put off causing some kinda black-out or say blank-out. And there are many more reasons why I envy and love sushi, more on that some other time, coz looks like I am digressing.

So, basically life's become like a sea-saw, a motorised sea-saw, connected to a turbine (???-that's scientifically imposisble!) with a speed high enough to get me to the highest of mountains, and deepest of trenches. Most times, am high on life, the other times, I sulk! All those who are having a tough time themselves, skip the next para, coz it would do you no good. Others, well you too might as well skip it!!

I have realised, that it's impossible for me to stay alone. I need someone around me in the house, especially in the nights, I can easily get all vulnerable and cranky. Mom was out of town, father was as usual, at home but inconspicuous by his mental absence, all absorbed in his work, phone calls and all that shit. I realised that the thing I really wanted to do once in my life - staying alone in an altogether new city, can't happen with me. I would go crazy. Dreams were nightmarish. I dreamt of people I always wanted to spend time with, but never could for some reasons. Not that I can't do that anymore, but life is not always straightforward where in one can just do what one wishes to do. I am too egoist to reconcile with certain long lost friends. It's not that I haven't put in efforts, I have, but after a while, being a human being, the big fat Ego triumphs over things like love, friendship, blah. So these were the "trenchy" days. Didn't last for more than 4 days, mom's back and man am I relieved!

Except for those dumb 4 days, life's been pretty much a swing, if not a roller coaster ride! Two of my friends from the US were in town. So we were meeting after real long! So we three hit a pub and downed a few cans of beer. I am not very fond of beer, I like having wine, sipping it down with all the elegance and panache of a lady, but with my guy friends I like having some beer with good rock music, and I love the swearing and bitching sessions that ensue. I have to tell all you girls out there, that bitching, is NOT a women's-exclusive trait. Guys do that too, and in a much more scientific and well informed manner! So basically we got all nostalgic about the good old college days, sulked about the new office-formal-trousers-and-pants life, thought of playing some snooker, but gave up on the idea, after we saw a few college kids hanging around and playing, as we all unanimously agreed that since we suck at the game, we'd be better off not showing off our boring formal office wear cum amazing snooker skills in front of those uber cool teens. So that was as close to getting high on life, beer as I could get.

Man!! I soo wanna have a tattoo, streak my hair red, get my navel ring pierced, dress like some boho chic! Why didn't I do all that in college? Why Why Why? It's not that I was a hard working student and all that shit. Neither was I popular for my singing/dancing/athletic/artistic skills. All I achieved in college was a degree in engineering!!! Engineeirng?? I hate engineering! What am I even doing as an engineer? Calculating some shit using excel worksheets and some random softwares? AArrgh.
It's high time I get my ass admitted to a good b-school, and do all the things I always wanted to do!